perhaps it's the sudden emo-ness..

the thought of the day when i went to my grandma's room to look at her,
looking at her heart pumping, not on the left side of her chest, but somewhere near her stomach area with her palm on it.
the day when i saw those "kueh kueh" at hougang area...
reminds me of those days when she was as fit as a fiddle.
yes, we grow up eating those kueh she bought from the market as breakfast.

i think i have not been talking to her for months..
in fact, i have to admit that i haven't been a good granddaughter althought we're living under the same roof.
i just dont know what to say...and what to do to help.
all i could do is walk into the room, look at how fragile she is now,
walk out of the room, looking as if i don't care.
sigh!
what's gotten over me?


the thought of bf leaving for yet another hell training..
the thought of leaving for work after staying in sunny island for a consecutive 7 days..
the thought of missing eating prata as supper...
the thought of my sister no longer there to listen to my complains next year (thou im always chasing her away)
the thought of myself not spending enough time with my friends...
and the list goes on.
.......guess what i did to allow myself to have that few moment of "happiness" that chocolates could give.
if you guess that i ate a lot of chocolates, then you hit the bull eye's.


and so, in the room of melbourne..
i had a lot of unhappy thoughts,
had a lot of chocolates after Subway and chicken pie,
and, finally had a bad stomache before i curl myself up and doze off in bed under the canopy of love. (ok, if you dont get it, it's the title of a hk drama. i think it fits in nicely. haa.)

what's left is the after effect of miss stupid worrying that she'll be disfigured by the chubby cheeks AGAIN.


ugh! what's next?



and here, back in my comfort zone..
my mood went haywire and i knew i was near to breaking down for god-knows-what reason.
NEARLY, which means i didnt and im super glad.

im fine now, because i know im feeling so much better and i must stay strong.... at least until april comes.

go away you crybaby!

SHE chu dian